Oppositional thoughts...Amusing thoughts against simplicities in careers and life Volume 2

Here is volume 2 of my Oppositional Thoughts Nos 51 – 100

Oppositional Cooking tip…if your gravy is a bit light, use it to make gravity, then it will weigh more
Oppositional Thoughts…my Welsh Springer spaniel likes to keep up with technology. She chases every Hybrid Prius down the road…
Oppositional Thoughts…I was told to make a strong first impression in the interview. So I gave them my Elvis and then my Lady Gaga.
Oppositional thoughts…reporting that 100% of people demand air to live is not news. But say 100% of Gen Y demand air and it’s research!
Oppositional thoughts…employee engagement is just intention, but employee marriage is commitment. Is your employer prepared to do it?
Oppositional thoughts…only a fools tries to climb the corporate ladder. Smarter folks take the stairs, and the smartest take the elevator
Oppositional thoughts…after my marathon effort all I heard was snickers and wispas. It mars my efforts to Hershey said I was fruit and nut
Oppositional thoughts… what if I did it all because the lady loves milk tray, and then I discover it was all a Twix?
Oppositional thoughts… After six hours of questioning myself I reluctantly had to let myself go due to a lack of evidence or witnesses
Oppositional Thoughts…why do we have to make sense? Can’t we grow sense,borrow sense,steal sense,harvest sense,copy sense, or non sense?
Oppositional Thoughts…Make yourself necessary to somebody- but preferably not to Judges, Lawyers, Police and Correctional officers…
Oppositional Thoughts… It takes a big man or woman to admit they are wrong…so presumably never pick an argument with a pygmy or a dieter
Oppositional Thoughts…”Check your ego in at the door”. I tried to but I couldn’t afford the astronomical excess baggage fees!
Oppositional Thoughts…synergy …the energy released by sinning?
Oppositional Thoughts…the best type of SMART goals are the ones that are SMART – Stop Making All Reality Trivial
Oppositional Thoughts…Success is being the boss in the corner office. Failure is the boss making you stand in the corner of the office
Oppositional Thoughts… I was so focussed on the goal that I ran straight into the goal post which was SMART Solid Massive And Really Thick
Oppositional thoughts…I got the life I wanted, but when they found out I had to give it back….
Oppositional thoughts…I always wanted to hit the big time, so I went London and thumped Big Ben.
Oppositional thoughts…successful win-win strategies eliminates loss, but if you eliminate loss, then what do you measure a win against?
Oppositional Thoughts…I was advised to demonstrate a good fit to get the job. So I had a hissy fit at the recruiter. Oddly it didn’t work
Oppositional Thoughts…It is Follow Friday (now/soon-in Aus!),so spend the day following someone, follow them home.Get sacked.Get arrested.
Oppositional thoughts…LIVE like it’s your last day on earth…which of course might arise because the preceding days have also been grim
Oppositional thoughts…you can judge a person by their peers…what they are peering at can tell you a lot about a person!
Oppositional Thoughts…Time is precious…so just tell it to stand in the corner until it grows up and makes itself useful
Oppositional thoughts..shall I compare thee to a summer’s day.Just give thanks that ‘Psychological type’ was not around in Shakespeare’s day
Oppositional thoughts…I am one of the few people who networks most effectively by not meeting, talking to or being seen by other people…
Oppositional thoughts…I tried to make eye contact in the interview, but their nose got in the way, and then they called security….
Oppositional Thoughts…I brought my ‘A’ game to the party, but some of the pieces were missing
Oppositional Thoughts…I tried cold calling and the employers got into it. They responded with the cold shoulder and cold indifference
Oppositional thoughts..what do the sayings ‘a penny for your thoughts’ and ‘spending a penny’ being of equal value say about your thoughts?
Oppositional thoughts…success is a journey not a destination, but if you are stuck in a traffic jam the distinction is purely academic
Oppositional thoughts…I can’t say I am the proud owner of a brain,more that I’ve taken one hostage and nobody thinks it’s worth the ransom
Oppositional Thoughts…I got a new job online! On the production line…
Oppositional thoughts…what if you realize your career is really going places, but it left without you and didn’t leave a note?
Oppositional Thoughts…Is easy to be successful through social media, the challenge is to do it through anti-social media
Oppositional thoughts…if you don’t start living you’ll start dying…but what if your idea of living makes dying a distinct possibility?
Oppositional Thoughts…Reuters reports the death of testing in #careers… A postmodern examination will determine the cause of death
Oppositional thoughts…Never forget why you are here. How can I? The bars on the windows are a permanent reminder…
Oppositional Thoughts…Under Promise and Over Deliver…Unless you are delivering incompetence…
Oppositional Thoughts…Work smarter, not harder! But how hard should I work at working smarter?
Oppositional Thoughts…Get synergy between people and processes…feed your staff into photocopier
Oppositional Thoughts…Be S.M.A.R.T – Stop Making Acronyms Really Trite
Oppositional thoughts..Never give up your own beliefs!.Unless you are standing on the top of 20 storey building and believe you are an eagle
Oppositional thoughts…When all around you are losing their heads…you set the Tardis for the French Revolution or you went to that rave
Oppositional Thoughts…”High Performance, Delivered”…but what if you were not home when they delivered…
Oppositional thoughts….there is no ‘I’ in “Personal Brand” but oddly there is an “I” in “Impersonal Brand”. Go figure!
Oppositional thoughts…I want to put the shot said my athlete client. Well I suppose it depends where you want to put it, I replied.
Oppositional Thoughts… I think I want to be a Dentist said my client. Are you sure that is not just a fill-in career I replied
Oppositional thoughts… I think I should act said my client. But acting is just a stage I replied.